If it’s one thing I learned while watching Frozen 6.5 million times with my children is that you need to Let it Go.
The moment when Elsa said to herself “Fuck this, I’m going to be myself” by way of making an ice castle. It gets me every time.
We all encounter things that bother us. Tough day at work. Issue with your boss. Marital issue. Fight with a friend. Random comments on social media. The list goes on. We have bad experiences and we think about them. We focus on them. We internalize. We stress. We wonder if we are at fault. We replay conversations in our head to see where things went wrong.
This happens to me often. I get fixated on a minor negative experience and it consumes me. I try to rationalize. I wonder how events transpire and often times, stay up at night thinking about it.
Recently, I’ve been reminding myself to “Let that shit go”. The things that are not in your control shouldn’t take up an unnecessary amount of brain space. By letting go, you are freeing your mind and focus.
This reminds me of an old Hindu parable.
Two wandering monks of a strict order came upon a high-flowing stream, and a small girl unable to cross to go home. She informed them of her dilemma, and one monk hoisted her onto his shoulders and went across, followed by his brother monk.
A few days later the second monk erupted with emotion yelling “I can’t believe you did that. You broke your vow to not touch a female. I’m at a loss as to what to do about it!” His brother replied. “You carried her for 5 days, I carried her for 30 seconds.”
The message of course — let that shit go. Just let it all go. Take a deep breath and let that shit go. Walk the dog and let that shit go. Go for a run and let that shit go. Go to Jiu Jitsu and let it go. Just get it out of your mind so you can continue to focus on things you can control.
It’s not easy. If it were easy, we’d all be brother monk #1. But it is important that we are aware of what consumes us. Sometimes just being mindful of what is affecting you is all it takes for you to clear your mind.
I’ve had a tough year with friendships. I’ve spent a lot of time focused on why I am the only one that has trouble connecting with my childhood group of friends. As I’ve aged, I’ve changed. I find different activities interesting and choose to spend my time doing things that challenge me mentally and physically.
It’s taken me so many years to be comfortable with myself that I have no choice but to embrace who I am now. Instead of focusing on why my friendships have grown distant, I am choosing to focus on the friendships that remain. The ones that have stayed strong despite us growing, changing and evolving. Those are the true friendships that deserve my time.