I live very close to Westfield and I am not sure if it is the proximity or having been in a similar situation living in a one income household but my heart goes out to you and your children. I believe your husband was doing what he thought was best for you all while also releasing himself from the financial pressure he must have felt. I have an uncle that committed suicide and my aunt never questioned if it was her fault. He was suffering from depression and after counseling, she learned there is nothing she could have done to help. I hope you stop blaming yourself because there is nothing you could have done or said to prevent this. Sending you love and hope.