I’ve dropped off Medium this past month. I was doing exceptionally well my second month. My third month, November, I didn’t do that well and I ended up writing less as a result. By well I mean views and curation. That’s my current definition of success. Though I have to admit I had more to say my second month.
I’ve just completed by 4th month and being off from work for the holidays has given me time to reflect. I haven’t written much. I’ve been incredibly stressed. My husband has also recently graduated from coding boot camp and I haven’t wanted to ignore my children to write. The truth — I haven’t written because I’m not relaxed.
When I’m not relaxed, I find it difficult to focus. If my husband tells me about a book he’s reading, I’ll listen but I’m not hearing anything. I’m thinking about a project I’m working on. I’m thinking about all I have to do for the kids holiday parties. I’m thinking about scheduling the kids dentist appointment. I’m thinking about ordering the dog’s medication.
The list never ends and it’s overwhelming. My relaxed mind can handle it better. She prioritizes and slowly crosses things off her list. My stressed mind gets overwhelmed going to the grocery store. She can’t take in any more responsibility. When I’m in this state, I cant write. I can barely manage to get through the day.
I need to learn to control my stress. It’s unfortunately affected me frequently this past year. I enjoy writing. I enjoy Jiu Jitsu. I enjoy lifting weights. But when I’m stressed, I do none of these things. I’m depressed. I lose focus. I hyper focus on the wrong things. I’m unable to prioritize.
It’s strange because writing calms my mind which in turn relaxes me. Yet I don’t write when I’m stressed. It doesn’t make sense. I’m trying to sort through it all.
What I know is that hiking calms me down. It helps me put things in perspective. It gives me a state of relaxation and a renewed ability to prioritize. There is nothing more calming than looking at trees and smelling the woods. Yes there is a smell. It’s glorious.
I went hiking on New Years Day with my husband and children. It was roughly cold and windy. We held hands and made sure we were careful stepping on wet icy rocks. We talked. We laughed. I didn’t think about work once. I was thinking about my kids. I was thinking about prioritizing activity in 2020. I was thinking about my children and how much they have grown.
I came home feeling rejuvenated. I looked at Medium and saw my last article was curated.
Persistence And Failure Are The Keys To Success
Ever wonder why you’re inspired after watching someone who’s failed repeatedly end up succeeding? Last night I was…
Am I back on track? I don’t know. I just know that for the first time in a while, I felt like myself. I feel good. It feels good to be back.
Today I’m going to a Jiu Jitsu class and will enjoy the time training. This weekend, I am going to make time for activities that I need to slow down. It’s one of my resolutions for 2020 and I am going to try my level best to achieve it.
While adding yet another activity to an already stressful day doesn’t help with stress at the time of scheduling, it definitely helps when you’re done. The stress relief on completion of the activity makes it worthwhile. I always feel better after Jiu Jitsu and after hiking.
This is my mindset in 2020. I am going to focus on scheduling in more down time. But not traditional down time. I need down time that slows down my mind. TV doesn’t do that. Spending time focused on only one thing does. It gives my mind a break from regurgitating my to-do lists. Here’s to quality down time in 2020. May we all spend more time doing the things we love.